Another caption competition | Adult photo challenges

Nsavage recently posed a caption challenge, the idea being to provide a speech balloon or story to accompany one of the images from their profile.

Well, I though this was such a neat idea I'm putting it forward myself. The challenge is to take an image from my profile and caption (or re-caption) it in a way that provokes amusement in the reader.

I'm looking for funny rather than sexy comments.

This challenge is over.
The winning entry is highlighted below.